Stealing Self-Love: The Bullies’ Biggest Trick

By | September 8, 2023

This story is about standing upright and defending ourselves even as the bullies are trying to destroy our world. Which, by the way, is precisely what the bothered bullies in very high chairs are trying to do right now.

At the same time, the bullies are acting surprised that we the people want them to stop “helping” us against our will and let us be.

Our Dignity Is Ours to Defend, and We Are Entitled to It

What keeps us anchored when life gets rough, like it’s rough right now for so many — and when the sense of certainty is nowhere to be found? In my experience, what keeps us anchored is an active sense of purpose, an understanding of being important to others, and a cellular-level memory of joy.

When we know and remember with every cell in our body that joy is where we live — and crying is where we travel sometimes — it is easier to deal with tears.

When we have a sensory memory — perhaps from our early toddler years — of being loved in totality and completely secure, then during the times of our confrontations with various monsters we fight not like hunted animals but like loved children fight monsters in a fairy tale.

We look at it as going through a training course, an adventure. We fight with a total sense of dignity and self-love, with a sense of purpose and entitlement to victory — with a sense of having the authority to appeal to the higher powers and ask them to help us win the war and then heal from any battle wounds.

And as we fight the tricky monsters like loved children fight monsters in a fairy tale, we know that there is a sweet home waiting for us where we are loved through and through. Loved with our acts of courage and our imperfections. Loved completely. Loved from head to toe, even our little pinky toes. Unconditionally. Totally. Through and through.

That feeling of being loved, protected and worthy of love is our spiritual “immune system.” We usually know it intuitively as very small kids — and then, after being through some “rough times” and though bitter disappointments, we often have work on regaining that feeling almost anew as adults. But once we regain it — oh it’s beautiful — we also remember how beautiful is has always been, and how ultimately invincible we have been all along. We just needed to learn.

Thieving Monsters, You Are Horrible but You Are Also Lame

The feeling of being completely loved in a spiritual sense is a reflection of our direct connection to our soul and to the higher powers. It is not a theoretical notion, it is an actual radiant, joyous feeling that we experience with every cell of our body and with every breath. And it is that feeling of self-love that the monsters try to steal from the people first and foremost.

They know that when the sense of self-love is successfully beaten out of the people or even dampened — by using shame or guilt — it creates a “weakness” in the psyche through which the bad guys, like parasites, try to syphon life energy or insert various toxic goo.

The monsters engaged in psychological warfare want to destroy our feeling of self-love very similarly to how the financial oligarchs want to destroy the traditional (non-cockroach) farming and our natural immunity. They are bothered people, those monsters.

They are bothered all the time — and so they spend their days going through their bag of tricks, trying this and that, hoping that something may stick and that we may forget how to love our souls (I say no to them, and shame on them). It is actually not unlike how it goes in fairy tales.

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If they succeed — temporarily — they create a big mess for everyone to deal with, and lots of suffering. And sometimes, we walk a very long and emotionally intense journey before we fully realize just how badly we have been had by the monsters in high chair — and our parents, and our parent’s parents, and … it goes way back.

But once we walk our journey, cry our tears, then get up from our knees and regain our senses, we become as radiant and confident again as this sunny-eyed kid. And strong, very strong.

sunny eyed kid
Photo credit: Igor Kogan

Mending the Holes With Love

The topic of psychological warfare can get fancy but the practical part is actually rather child-like. In practical terms, it is very important to refrain from intellectual pride as it can easily lead us astray and to a place where we feel very smart and advanced but in reality get played.

We, human beings, are very limited in our understanding. We are completely dependent on mysterious things, on the higher powers (God, life’s mystery, the universe, however we think about those things; the Creator is intelligent enough to understand the feeling in our hearts). In my experience, it is very important to ask the higher powers to accept our sincerity and to help us sort things out. We are much better off when we don’t rely on our intellect alone.

It is also important to regularly go through renewals of our “armor of goodness” and to mend any holes, and do it with infinite love. That means, among other things, forgiving ourselves for our past transgressions, based on our honest intention to do what’s right even if we make messes along the way. It also means admitting to any mistakes we may have made and being eager to take the necessary practical steps and fix them from a place of sincere love.

We have all the power in the world to insist on the importance of our uniquely beautiful soul and on pushing forward with our life’s purpose even at times when no one else seems to appreciate us or believe in us, even at times when the monsters are trying to isolated us, bully us, make us feel dejected or alone. Remember, it is just a training course.

There is great restorative power in telling your soul that you love and accept yourself completely, that you want to heal, and that you deserve to be loved because you are good. Imperfect, yes, always imperfect — but good and worthy of love. And that any abuse ever done to you was unfair. And now you want to heal. There is great restorative power in that.

Our Sense of Belonging, Targeted by the Shameless Villains

Evil masters have a lot more success with eating into the people who are shocked out of their inner goodness or feel helpless against the bulldozer coming at them. The not-so-well intended ones are far more successful at hurting those who are focused not on their inner light but on pain or fear. (Pain and fear need to be dealt with in an honest way, they are real — but they are not advantageous battle states.)

It is by design that in our temporarily dysfunctional world, the children are taught to believe that love is something they need to “earn” by complying with soul-breaking rules. It is by design that so many people feel like the world is other people’s world, not theirs.

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Modern society is designed to really “stress-test” the soul by “rewarding” an abandonment of both self-love and common sense. Case in point:

Shocking the Pure Child

As a first line of … attack, the monsters typically try to shock as a thought experience, let us think though this hypothetical plot.

Imagine you are a child who is loved. You expect the world to be good to you because this is all you have seen so far. You believe in fairness, in being rewarded for good deeds, in being treated well. You believe that your parents have your back because they do have your back.

You are protected, you are secure, you have your parents to talk to if anyone is trying to hurt you, you are grounded in this feeling of well-being and you probably take this situation for granted — because this is all you know. Life is a very sunny fairy tale.

And then one day, something very shocking happens. An unfair violent attack, a war, a not so great reset, an invasion of your land. And then it gets really-really messed up. There is a very stark contrast between how things “should” be and the way your life actually is.

It is very shocking and surreal. You have no control over this, it is almost as if you, the good you, are having a very bad dream that you shouldn’t be having — but no matter how much you cry and rub your eyes hoping it will disappear, it does not disappear.

As the injustice lingers, and the people around you start breaking, the new reality sets in. Little by little, the memories of all the butterflies and all the laughter turn into very distant memories of how things used to be.

As the memories of being secure wane, you develop a new identity, an identity of a person living in the land where lovelessness is the law and cruelty is the rule. You, the loved child of the past, are now an invisible who is just trying to avoid pain.

In that world of lovelessness, you learn to adapt to the horror and to avoid sticking out, so as to minimize the pain. In that world, you eventually learn to look for distractions — anything that would give you a delusion of dignity, a delusion of being loved or at least not attacked. In that world, you disconnect from your soul so as to forget the pain that your soul knows — and you start a very trying journey of eventually reuniting with your soul again.

In the meanwhile, you get used to your new identity as an invisible. You follow “the rules” because you don’t know what else you to do, and you just don’t want the pain to be less. All of us are that child. All of us are walking that journey, and some of us have already happily reunited with our soul, and some are still in denial.

History Is Rough

I feel inevitably sad every time when I look at the photos of the beautiful Native children who went through “assimilation” under the “Kill the Indian, Save the Man” campaign, which in practice meant that they were removed by force from their homes and their families and sent to boarding schools — where they were forbidden to speak their parents’ language or to do anything associated with home.

Those kids were very cruelly and unjustly punished for showing any signs of remembering their past — and they were also often sexually abused. All, in the name of, allegedly, God. (I think God wept.)

Given that this is how most big reforms, invasions, and religious conversion went for thousands of years, if we dig far enough, all of us have family members, known or unknown, who were brutalized in this way. Is it any surprise that there is so much pain? Hurt people hurt people they say. Yes, they do.

On a different note, more recently, lots of children (and adults) have been maimed surreptitiously by the pharma trolls — not just in the past three years but for decades. What about them? Who will dry their tears?

Pain Is Created by Individual People, History Is Never Abstract

When we look at abusive situations — at wars, at violent attacks, as poisoning people for profit, or at child abuse — there exist individuals who bring those situations upon. None of those things are brought upon by “trends” or “systems” but instead, they are brought upon by people, Wars are started and funded by individuals.

Destructive reforms like the Great Reset of today — or the great resets of the past — are started by individuals. Attempts to steal and murder in cold blood are started by individuals, and whatever spiritual alliances they make.

Yes, once the ball starts rolling, it gets confusing — and it gets more and more confusing as time goes by and people forget who started what and how it was before. In the middle big messes, lots of people walk around in an enchanted state and even hurt their own children — out of love.

Also, yes, from the existential perspective, life is wise, and it turns everything — including horrid abuse, and I know because I’ve gone through horrid abuse — into rites of passage, into learning experiences for the soul. Everything that happens comes with an opportunity to reunite with our soul and love our soul fully, with every cell and every breath.

The monsters though … they are being monsters — and it is in our best interests to respond to their attempts to dispirit us by doubling down on child-like prayer and self-love — and to keep at it like loved children in a fairy tale — until they melt.

It is our memory of joy and the knowledge of our goodness that keep us anchored when the times are tough.

Prayer

The time for feeling dejected is over.
The time for feeling helpless in the face of dishonesty and cruelty is over.
We are good.
We have the protection of the higher power who are watching over us, wanting us to be brave.
We are good.
We deserve to be victorious over the bullies.
Yes, we deserve to be victorious over the bullies.
Our love is valid, and we are good.

About the Author

To find more of Tessa Lena’s work, be sure to check out her bio, Tessa Fights Robots.

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